9 weeks

Tomorrow, I should be 9 weeks pregnant with our rainbow. There are days when I am totally excited and look at baby stuff online and it's all I can do not to order the cute little Moses basket. And then I remember that our first doctor's appointment is in 4 days and I get really anxious and nervous. I go through in my mind how I think the appointment will go. What I will say to the doctor, as she has been with us through the last 3 losses (And she is incredible. She spent about an hour in conversation with me the first time). My reaction to the picture on the screen- in each vision I have, I am never looking at the ultrasound screen at first. Sometimes I think I will cover my face. Some I am staring at Jesse. I really don't know how I will react to this pivotal moment in not only this pregnancy, but in my life, as well as our family's. It is an odd feeling- I want this appointment to tell me everything is and will be ok. But at the same time, I don't even want to go. I could go on and on about this. But I won't. Hopefully I will have good news Monday. In the meantime, I will continue taking my extra prenatal vitamin and drinking an obscene amount of water, while using my crystals in meditation (did I mention this appointment was scheduled on a full moon. Like I have said before- nothing is a coincidence), and doing some yoga to relax.

Katie